What is it with commitment phobia and men?

There has been a lot of stuff written about commitment phobia and men...but is it really only men who are afraid to commit themselves to long-term relationships? The reality is, there could be any number of reasons why a person may choose to remain single. We need to remember that there is an ever increasing number of men and women out there who are quite happy to enjoy the freedom of single life; so are we being judgemental by labelling these people as ‘commitment phobics’? Let’s talk about some of the most commonly discussed aspects of commitment phobia and men.



Commitment Phobic...Who Me?

Times are definitely changing:
  • People are choosing to get married later in life
  • It’s not uncommon for a woman to have her first child in her late thirties
  • There is no longer a stigma attached to being single

    • But does this mean we are becoming a commitment phobic society? Well, the truth is that there are both male and female non-committers in the singles world. Yet we seem to identify most with subject of commitment phobia and MEN.

    Commitment in any healthy relationship is spurred by our growing affection and fondness for the other person. If the relationship is to develop further, it is usually because both people feel supported and nurtured with each other. So the various levels of commitment are a natural part of every relationship.



    Men and Marriage

    Now let’s talk specifically about men, and the kinds of things that might cause a man to run in the opposite direction:
    1. Men don’t like to be unfairly blamed or criticized.
      When we get comfortable with another person, we sometimes forget that they need to feel special and needed. So watch what you say and how you say it! Something that might seem like a harmless comment to you may be really hurtful to him. We all want to feel good, so treat him the way you like to be treated.
    2. What about self-love? Well, any woman who feels confident in her ability to be happy regardless of whether or not she is in a relationship is bound to bring out the best in any man. This is because through the expression of her own self-confidence, she takes the pressure off the man to be responsible for her happiness and fulfilment. Remember, no-one can love you unless you love yourself – so cultivate self-reliance, and you will become a man-magnet!
    3. Are you looking for a meal-ticket? If you are, keep the news to yourself; if there’s one thing men can’t stomach, it’s a gold-digger. We all want to be loved for who we are, and not what we have…and men are no exception. Sure it’s nice to be spoilt by your man, but you’ll go a long way if you show him genuine appreciation without expecting to be showered with expensive gifts.



    Here are some more reasons why men choose to stay single:
  • Men can get sex without marriage.
  • Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
  • They are wary of divorce and its financial risks.
  • They are in no hurry to have children.
  • They think that marriage will require too many changes and compromises.
  • They are still waiting for the perfect woman, and she hasn't appeared yet.
  • They want to own a house before they get a wife.
  • They want to enjoy single life for as long as they possibly can.


    • Well, after reading this you might come to the conclusion that commitment phobia and men go hand in hand! But the truth is, many men ARE interested in committing...to the right person. So if you’re attracting men who are not interested in committing, it may be time to examine your own beliefs about relationships - do you think there are no good men out there? If so, then guess what...that is the reality you will create for yourself. Change the way you are looking at your situation, and what you are looking at WILL change.


    Seek And Ye Shall Find!